Sexual Health

The Science of Attachment in Adult Relationships

How Attachment Style Shapes Your Dating Life

Attachment theory, first developed by psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, explains how our early experiences with caregivers shape our ability to form bonds in adulthood.

In romantic relationships, attachment influences how we handle closeness, conflict, and emotional vulnerability. Neuroscience shows that attachment security is linked to brain regions responsible for emotional regulation and stress responses. This means that while attachment styles are deeply ingrained, they are not fixed—they can be reshaped with awareness and effort.

Many high-achieving professionals excel in their careers but struggle to find fulfilling romantic relationships. Often, the missing piece isn’t about strategy or timing—it’s about attachment. Your attachment style, formed in early life, plays a crucial role in how you connect, navigate conflict, and build intimacy.

Understanding your attachment style can provide deep insights into your dating patterns and help you make healthier relationship choices. In this article, we’ll explore the four main attachment styles, how they show up in dating, and what you can do to build more secure connections.

How to Identify Your Attachment Style

Changing how we connect in relationships starts with understanding where our patterns come from. The first step is self-awareness. Taking time to reflect on your past relationships—what felt good, what triggered anxiety or withdrawal—can help you spot recurring themes. Journaling about moments when you felt especially close or especially distant can also reveal what your attachment system responds to most.

Once you’ve started noticing these patterns, emotional regulation becomes key. When attachment stress kicks in—whether it's fear of abandonment, discomfort with closeness, or mixed feelings—simple tools like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness can bring you back to center. Working with a therapist or a knowledgeable dating coach can also help you unpack the roots of these reactions and build more supportive responses.

The Four Attachment Styles

The way we form emotional bonds—our attachment style—shapes how we express love, handle conflict, and navigate intimacy. These patterns, rooted in early experiences, continue to influence our dating lives in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. 

With awareness comes the power to shift patterns, communicate more effectively, and ultimately create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. No matter your attachment style, growth is always possible—and love can be a beautiful space for healing and connection. 

There are four primary attachment styles that show up in adults—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Let’s explore how they show up in the dating world:

Secure Attachment

People with a secure attachment style tend to be emotionally grounded and open in their relationships. They’re comfortable with intimacy, trust their partners, and strike a healthy balance between independence and closeness. 

In dating, they communicate their needs clearly and are responsive to their partner’s emotions without feeling overwhelmed or detached. They don’t shy away from conflict; instead, they approach it with a mindset geared toward resolution and growth. 

Because of these qualities, secure individuals often create emotionally safe environments where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued. This style is widely considered ideal for fostering long-term love built on mutual trust, emotional availability, and consistent support.

• Traits: Comfortable with intimacy, trusts easily, balances independence with closeness.
• Dating behaviors: Open communication, emotional stability, ability to navigate conflicts constructively.

Anxious Attachment

People with an anxious attachment style care deeply about their relationships and often feel emotions very strongly. They want to feel close and connected but also worry about being left or not being enough. That worry can show up as overthinking texts, needing extra reassurance, or feeling uneasy when a partner pulls back.

These reactions usually come from past experiences where love felt unpredictable or unsafe—not from anything being “wrong.” The great thing is that anxious folks bring a ton of heart and loyalty into their relationships. Over time, learning how to feel secure within themselves and finding ways to calm anxiety can help create more ease and balance in love. It’s about knowing they’re already enough, even when things feel uncertain.

• Traits: Fear of abandonment, seeks reassurance, emotional highs and lows.
• Dating behaviors: Overanalyzing messages, seeking validation, feeling anxious when a partner pulls away.

Avoidant Attachment

Those with avoidant attachment style highly value their independence and often appear emotionally distant in relationships. They struggle with vulnerability and may become uncomfortable when things start to feel too serious or emotionally intense. 

This discomfort can lead them to send mixed signals or withdraw altogether, especially when they sense someone getting too close. Though not intentionally hurtful, their protective walls can make intimacy difficult to achieve. 

Growth for avoidant individuals includes gradually allowing themselves to experience closeness without fear, learning to express emotions more openly, and addressing the deep-rooted fears that fuel their aversion to emotional dependence.

• Traits: Values independence, emotionally distant, struggles with vulnerability.
• Dating behaviors: Sends mixed signals, avoids deep emotional discussions, pulls away when things get serious.
• How to grow: Work on emotional expression, allow gradual closeness, recognize fears of intimacy.

Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized attachment can feel like being pulled in two directions at once. There’s a strong desire for closeness and connection, but also a deep fear of getting hurt or being let down. That inner conflict can make relationships feel confusing—intense one moment, distant the next. 

Disorganized attachment often makes people seem hot-and-cold in their relationships. It’s not about being difficult—it’s usually about having been hurt in the past and wanting to protect yourself, even if you also want love. 

People with this style often have a lot of insight and sensitivity, and when they start to build more emotional safety and trust—often with the help of therapy or supportive partners—they can create relationships that feel steadier and kinder. Healing takes time, but connection doesn’t have to feel so scary forever.

• Traits: Push-pull dynamic, simultaneous fear of intimacy and abandonment.
• Dating behaviors: Intense but unstable relationships, difficulty trusting both self and partner.

What Do Attachment Styles Look Like in a Relationship?

Attachment styles—Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant—shape how we connect, argue, and love. And when two people bring their unique styles into a relationship, the combo can either feel like a cozy fireplace or a five-alarm emotional fire.

Understanding your attachment style—and your partner’s—isn’t just relationship trivia. It’s a hack for deeper intimacy, better conflict resolution, and actual long-term happiness.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to find someone with a PhD in communication. But if you can show up with self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to grow—and pick a partner who does the same? You’re choosing a relationship where you both get to feel deep love and security.

So maybe skip the horoscope this time. Your attachment style might tell you more about your love life than your moon sign ever will.

Let’s break down the most common relationship pairings, what works, what blows up, and why having at least one securely attached partner can be the real game-changer.

Secure + Secure: The Relationship We Hope For

This is the ideal pairing. Two people who are comfortable with intimacy and independence? Yes, they exist. These couples communicate openly, resolve conflict constructively, and actually listen to each other.

That doesn’t mean they don’t argue—they do. But they know how to fight fair and come back together stronger. Trust, stability, and mutual respect are baked into their dynamic. Basically, they’re the “how did they get so healthy?” couple that makes everyone else wonder if therapy actually works (spoiler: it does).

Anxious + Avoidant: The Emotional Rollercoaster

This one’s a classic. One partner craves closeness like Wi-Fi on a road trip, while the other backs away the second things get too real. The result? A constant push-pull that leaves both people drained and confused.

The anxious partner often feels "needy" or "too much." The avoidant partner feels suffocated. It's a loop of emotional chase and retreat that rarely ends well unless both people develop serious self-awareness and learn new ways to connect. Otherwise, it’s heartbreak in slow motion.

Anxious + Anxious: So Much Passion, So Much Panic

Initially, this match feels like fireworks—fast, intense, and emotionally electric. But once the honeymoon fades, insecurities flare up like a bad rash. Both partners crave reassurance, both fear abandonment, and neither can provide the stability the other needs.

Arguments can spiral fast. What was once passion turns into co-dependency, jealousy, and emotional exhaustion. The good news? With therapy, boundary-setting, and emotional tools, this intensity can be transformed into deep connection. But it takes serious work.

Avoidant + Avoidant: Roommates with Benefits?

These two are all about independence—and that’s not always a good thing. While they might enjoy the low-drama, low-pressure dynamic at first, over time, the emotional distance starts to feel less like freedom and more like loneliness.

They rarely fight because they rarely talk about hard stuff. Vulnerability? Not on the menu. Without intentional emotional growth, this relationship can start to feel like a polite detachment rather than a meaningful connection.

Dating With a Secure Partner

Here’s where it gets interesting: if just one person in the relationship is securely attached, things can shift big time.

A secure partner is like an emotional anchor in a storm—they offer steadiness, openness, and healthy communication. They model calm during conflict and give space without withdrawing completely.

Secure + Anxious

The secure partner helps the anxious one feel safe, seen, and loved. Over time, this can ease the anxious partner’s need for constant validation. Challenges? Sure—emotional intensity can be a lot. But with compassion and boundaries, this pairing can thrive.

Secure + Avoidant

Here, the secure partner doesn’t pressure or judge. They’re patient with the avoidant partner’s need for space, while still gently inviting closeness. This can help the avoidant partner lower their emotional walls—slowly but surely.

Bottom line? A secure partner often sets the tone for emotional growth, helping insecure patterns shift over time. It’s not magic. But it’s damn close.

Shifting Your Attachment Patterns

Shifting attachment patterns doesn’t mean becoming someone else—it means creating more freedom and choice in how you relate. If vulnerability feels scary, try easing into it with small, safe steps. Let someone in a little at a time. Practice honesty with people who show they can handle it. Over time, these small moments of safe connection help rewire old fears and open the door to healthier, more secure relationships.

Practical Advice If You’re Anxious

If you have an anxious attachment style, emotions in relationships can feel big and fast. It’s easy to get swept up quickly—idealizing someone new, replaying every text, or feeling like your sense of security depends on how close your partner feels in the moment. One of the most helpful things you can do is learn to slow the pace emotionally. When you're excited about someone, take a breath before diving all in. Check in with yourself: Are you feeling calm and connected, or anxious and unsure?

Also, try shifting your attention toward people who show up consistently. Partners who are emotionally available and follow through on their words help reinforce a sense of safety. Notice how you feel after spending time with someone—not just during the highs, but in the quiet moments too. That steadiness might not feel as “exciting” at first if you're used to emotional ups and downs, but it’s often the kind of love that leads to lasting connection.

Practical Advice If You’re Avoidant

If you lean avoidant in your attachment, you likely value independence and might feel overwhelmed by too much closeness or emotional intensity. You’re not alone in this—many people protect themselves by keeping relationships at a distance. But if you’re craving deeper connection, the shift starts with allowing a little more vulnerability in.

You don’t need to share your entire life story all at once. Start small: share a personal thought, admit when something made you feel off, or express appreciation even if it feels awkward at first. Notice when you're pulling away and ask yourself gently, “What am I afraid might happen if I stay present?” The goal isn’t to force closeness, but to stretch your comfort zone bit by bit. Emotional openness is like a muscle—it gets stronger the more you use it, especially when you see it met with care.

Practical Advice If You’re Disorganized

Disorganized attachment can feel like you’re caught between two strong and competing needs—wanting closeness but fearing it, needing space but dreading abandonment. If this is your pattern, building self-trust is a powerful starting point. That means tuning into your feelings without judgment, honoring what you need, and believing you can handle emotional discomfort without running or shutting down.

You can also work on creating more stability in your relationships by choosing connections where communication is kind, clear, and consistent. Be honest about what feels safe and what doesn’t. If relationships have often felt unpredictable, even naming your fears out loud can be a brave first step. And if trust feels shaky, start by showing up for yourself—keeping small promises to yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and surrounding yourself with people who respect them.

Therapy or coaching can be especially helpful here, as it offers a safe place to explore your attachment story and begin rewriting it. Healing isn’t about becoming “perfect” in relationships—it’s about learning how to feel safe being seen and trusting that love doesn’t have to come with chaos.

Practical Advice If You’re Secure

If you have a secure attachment style, you likely approach relationships with a sense of trust, emotional balance, and comfort with both closeness and independence. You’re probably able to communicate your needs openly, handle conflict constructively, and offer support without losing yourself in the process. That’s a huge strength—and something many people are working toward.

Even so, secure doesn’t mean “done.” Growth still matters. Staying grounded in your own emotional well-being while staying present with a partner can deepen intimacy even further. It’s also helpful to stay mindful of how you respond when others have different attachment needs. For example, if you’re dating someone who’s anxious or avoidant, your calm consistency can be incredibly healing—but only if it’s mutual and not draining for you.

Securely attached people are in a great position to model healthy communication, practice empathy without overextending, and build relationships that thrive on mutual respect and emotional honesty. Keep tuning into your own boundaries and values while offering the kind of steady love that helps others feel safe to meet you there.

Final Thoughts

Attachment isn’t destiny—it’s a pattern that can be reshaped. By understanding your attachment style and taking intentional steps toward security, you can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. The key is awareness, self-work, and choosing partners who align with your emotional needs.

Regardless of where you start, the journey toward secure love is worth it.

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by Darci Johnson

Hookup Culture 101: Essential Dos and Don’ts

You’re scrolling through a dating app late at night, chatting with someone new who seems fun, easygoing, and just as interested as you are. But as you start making plans to meet, questions linger in the back of your mind—are they expecting something serious, or is this purely casual? 

You want to be clear, keep things safe, and avoid awkward misunderstandings. You realize you need a few ground rules to make sure everyone’s on the same page, but what are the rules of a casual hookup?

In today’s world, hookup culture is influenced by social media, dating apps, and changing views on relationships. Being well-prepared can make a big difference, helping to prevent misunderstandings and ensuring that everyone feels respected.

 If you’re considering a casual encounter, here’s a helpful guide on the do’s and don’ts to make the experience respectful, safe, and enjoyable for everyone involved.

The Do’s of Hookup Culture

Do Be Clear About Your Intentions Early On
One of the keys to an enjoyable experience is setting expectations from the start. Before diving in, mention that you’re interested in keeping things casual if that’s your goal. This can avoid complications later and helps each person feel respected. If things change, like if you start feeling a deeper connection, don’t hesitate to check in and let the other person know.

Example: “Hey, I’m enjoying spending time together and wanted to mention that I’m open to seeing where this goes if you’re interested.” Simple honesty goes a long way.

Do Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
Hookups are about shared enjoyment, and boundaries are part of that enjoyment. Setting personal boundaries—whether physical, emotional, or time-related—is a way to take care of yourself. Discussing boundaries also sets a tone of respect and lets both people relax and be themselves.

Do Emphasize Consent and Ongoing Communication
Consent is fundamental in any intimate setting. But beyond an initial agreement, maintaining open communication during the encounter can make things more comfortable and enjoyable for both people. This shows your respect for their experience and ensures mutual enjoyment.

Example: Check in by asking, “How’s this feeling for you?” This reinforces trust and shows attentiveness to their comfort.

Do Prioritize Safety and Health
Safe practices benefit everyone. Use protection to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnancies, and consider a regular health checkup if you’re active in hookup culture. Conversations about health and safety might feel awkward, but they’re standard in hookup culture and demonstrate maturity.

Tip: Keep your preferred protection on hand, so you’re always prepared and feel confident going into any situation. This applies to both men and women; safe sex is everyone’s responsibility!

Do Protect Privacy in a Connected World
The digital era brings unique challenges to privacy. Avoid tagging or mentioning people in social media posts without discussing it first. A casual encounter doesn’t necessarily mean public knowledge, and discretion often reflects well on your respect for others.

Do Let Someone Know You’re Meeting Up
While privacy is important, it doesn't trump your safety. It’s important to remember that a hookup could be a near-total stranger, and that comes with risks. Before you go to anyone's place or invite anyone to yours, send a text to a trusted friend letting them know you’re getting, ahem, friendly with a hookup. 

Send them the hookup’s name and address for safekeeping. If you have a photo of them, send it too. This can all be deleted later on, when you’ve made it through the encounter safely.

Do Acknowledge Your Emotions
Hookups are supposed to be light, but they can still stir up unexpected feelings. Being aware of this possibility and checking in with yourself helps you navigate any emotions without added stress.

Tip: If you feel attachment growing, it’s okay to take a step back and assess if a more meaningful connection is what you really want.

The Don’ts of Hookup Culture

Don’t Assume You’re Both Looking for the Same Thing
It’s easy to assume someone’s on the same page, but people enter hookups with different expectations. A quick conversation about each other’s intentions helps avoid misunderstandings and keeps both people on solid ground.

Don’t Overlook Personal Safety
Meeting in a public place or where you feel secure is crucial. If it’s a new acquaintance, make sure a friend knows where you are. If anything feels off, it’s okay to bow out.

Tip: Share your location with a trusted friend if you’re meeting someone new, for extra peace of mind.

Don’t Expect Exclusivity
In hookup culture, exclusivity is generally uncommon. But if exclusivity is important to you, don’t hesitate to express this. Knowing what’s comfortable for each of you can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

Don’t Feel Obligated to Go Through with Anything
You’re allowed to say no at any stage. Hookups are meant to be enjoyable for both people, and it’s perfectly okay to leave if you’re not fully comfortable or enthusiastic.

Example: “Actually, I’d rather wait on this.” Honesty in the moment avoids discomfort for both parties.

Don’t Pressure Yourself for an Instant Connection
It’s normal to seek connection, but hookups are often short-lived experiences. Going in without the expectation of forming a deeper bond allows you to relax and enjoy the present without pressure.

Note: This approach also makes it easier to keep things casual and friendly post-hookup, without added tension.

Things You Might Not Expect About Your Hookup

Post-Hookup Emotions: Expect the Unexpected
It’s common to feel different emotions post-hookup. Recognizing these feelings and processing them without judgment is key. Casual intimacy can sometimes lead to attachment—something perfectly normal and worth acknowledging.

Ghosting as a Common Practice
In hookup culture, some people choose not to stay in touch. While ghosting might feel harsh, it’s a frequent practice and often not personal. Try not to take it as a reflection of your self-worth.

High Standards for Communication
Hookup culture today often includes a higher expectation for communication. Many people seek directness and maturity in these interactions, so being respectful, communicative, and considerate can actually help foster a better experience.

Tip: A quick check-in text post-hookup, like “Thanks for a great time!” can be a nice way to end things on good terms.

Social Media Concerns: Privacy First
With so much of life shared online, social media privacy becomes relevant in hookups. Consider whether you want mutual acquaintances or social circles aware of your connections, and proceed accordingly.

Tip: If privacy is crucial, make a habit of keeping your encounters offline and low-profile on social media.

Key Takeaways

• Be Upfront About What You’re Looking For: Clear intentions help avoid mixed signals and make things easier for both of you.
• Set and Respect Boundaries: Boundaries keep things comfortable. Share yours, ask about theirs, and enjoy the experience with respect.
• Keep Consent and Communication Open: Check in with each other—it shows you care and keeps things enjoyable.
• Stay Safe: Meet in a secure place, use protection, and listen to your gut. Prioritizing safety makes for a way better experience.
• Keep It Private: In a world where everything ends up online, it’s respectful to keep things discreet. Avoid sharing details without permission.
• Manage Expectations and Emotions: Feelings can come up unexpectedly, and that’s okay. Just check in with yourself and keep things real.

With these tips in mind, you’re set to approach hookup culture with confidence and enjoy the moment without the extra stress.

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by Darci Johnson

Why Your Brain is the Most Powerful Sex Organ

We think of sex as something that our bodies do, but most of the action starts in the brain. Our minds and bodies are intricately linked.  From feeling attraction to reaching the peak of pleasure, it's all connected to what's happening in our heads. The brain acts like a conductor, moving things along at just the right time to keep the sexual response cycle going.

Sexual Response Cycle

According to pioneering sexuality researchers Masters and Johnson, the body’s responses to sexual stimulation happen in four sequential phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. In every stage, millions of chemical reactions light up different parts of the brain. 

Excitement: During the excitement phase, the body starts getting ready for sex. This phase begins when any erotic physical or mental stimulation leads to sexual arousal. Sexual arousal can be separated into two components: the psychological (i.e., sexual thoughts) and the physiological (i.e., bodily reactions like erection and vaginal lubrication).

Plateau: As the body enters the plateau phase, changes that began in the excitement phase continue to intensify. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure all continue to increase. Blood flow to the genitals continues to increase, making them more sensitive to stimulation. Muscles in the abdomen and pelvic region become tense.

Orgasm: This is both the most well-known and the shortest phase of sex. Muscle tension built in the plateau phase is released suddenly and forcefully. Occurring at the peak of sexual pleasure, orgasm is usually less than one minute long. 

Resolution: After orgasm, the body begins returning to a normal resting state. During the resolution phase, engorged body parts return to their normal size and color. 

As you can see, there are a lot of moving parts in this process (pun intended). In order to reliably pull off such an elaborate operation, the brain and body work together like a well-oiled machine. 

Your Brain is Wired For Sex

From arousal to orgasm, sexual activity is a storm of chemical reactions and firing neurons. The mechanisms involved in sexual behavior are located throughout both the central and peripheral nervous systems. 

The central nervous system (CNS) consists of the brain and the spinal cord. The brain controls higher functions like thoughts, emotions, and planning. It sends and receives signals from the rest of the body via the spinal cord. The spinal cord is connected to the peripheral nervous system.

The peripheral nervous system (PNS) is made up of millions of nerves and ganglia that branch out from the spinal cord into the rest of the body. This includes nerves connected to the skin, which can become more sensitive due to increased blood flow. This is also what causes the flush reaction commonly associated with sex. 

What Happens in Your Brain?

During sexual activity, parts of your brain that control higher reasoning are less active. Instead, the limbic system, which contains the brain’s reward circuit, is in the driver’s seat. According to Jason Krellman, PhD, assistant professor of neuropsychology at Columbia University Medical Center, this means that sex is “driven more by instinct and emotion than rational thought.”

The amygdala is a small almond-shaped structure that processes some of your most primal instincts. It’s connected to your olfactory sense, or your sense of smell, where many scientists theorize it detects pheromones from potential sexual partners. If your amygdala likes the way your lover smells, then it sends information to your orbitofrontal cortex (OFC).

The orbitofrontal cortex, among many things, is responsible for making pleasure feel good. 

It takes information from what you see, hear, and feel, along with signals from your nervous system, to figure out how you should react to the pleasurable things around you. This includes things like food, drink, and importantly, sexual pleasure. It does this using something called hedonic motivation.    

Hedonic motivation is what creates that “one thing led to another” energy. Your brain is wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. During hedonic processing, your orbitofrontal cortex makes the pleasure signals in your brain stronger and louder, encouraging you to continue.

When you start getting turned on, different parts of your brain kick into action to prepare your body for sex. The cingulate cortex and insula handle autonomic responses—things that happen in your body without you thinking about it. They talk to the brainstem and hypothalamus, which manage the release of sex hormones and control various nervous system functions, including the flow of blood to the genitals, vaginal lubrication, and erection. 

As you get close to orgasm, the part of your brain that manages your body's movements (the cerebellum) starts sending signals to your thighs, glutes, and abs, telling them to start tensing up. This increases both blood flow and nerve activity in the pelvic region. 

The tension builds until it reaches a peak, and then it's let go with a burst of feel-good chemicals. When you orgasm, the muscles in your pelvic floor squeeze in a rhythmic pattern, usually about 5-8 times together. At the same time, your brain gets a flood of dopamine and oxytocin, making you feel pleasure and a sense of closeness. This is why you may feel closer to a sexual partner after orgasm. 

Sexual Dysfunction

It’s normal not to be in the mood sometimes, but persistent feelings of being unable to have or enjoy sex can become a problem. If you find that you’re unable to perform or sex is uncomfortable for you, even when you want to get it on, you’re likely experiencing a form of sexual dysfunction. 

Sexual dysfunction can happen for a number of reasons, including:

• Stress
• Diabetes, heart disease, and other medical conditions
• Hormonal changes
• Trauma
• Depression or Anxiety
• Drug or alcohol use
• Certain prescription medications

Sexual dysfunction can manifest in various ways in both men and women. While these issues mostly affect the body, their root cause is often in the brain. 

For example, stress can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation issues. After a traumatic brain injury, 30% of men struggle with erectile dysfunction, and a staggering 40% have problems with orgasm. This further highlights the brain’s critical role in sexual activity.

Women may struggle with issues like vaginal dryness, vaginismus, or other issues that can make sex uncomfortable, even painful. While these issues often have an underlying physical cause—such as hormonal changes brought on by menopause—they are also likely to be influenced by stress and fatigue. 

Treating Sexual Dysfunction

Since sexual dysfunction can be caused by many things, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all treatment. In many cases, consulting a healthcare professional is the first step to treating sexual dysfunction disorders. 

Stress Management: Stress is a major factor in many people’s sexual dysfunction, so taking steps to manage it can have a huge positive impact on your sex life. Techniques like deep breathing exercises, visualization, and practicing mindfulness can help you healthily cope with stress. Spending time with loved ones has also been shown to improve mood and reduce stress.

Medications: Several medications have been developed to help both men and women treat sexual dysfunction. Viagra and Cialis, among the most well-known of these drugs, are used to treat erectile dysfunction in men. For women struggling with sexual desire, there are two options, Addyi and Vyleesi. Unfortunately, both drugs have only been approved by the FDA for use by pre-menopausal women.

Assistive Devices: There is a massive selection of devices to make sex easier and more enjoyable for those suffering from sexual dysfunction. A wearable harness that holds a prosthetic penis can allow men with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation issues to continue with sex even when things aren’t going to plan below the belt. For women, using a vibrator or a dilator set can help with dryness and vaginismus, respectively.

Therapy: There are many reasons therapy can be helpful to treat sexual dysfunction.  Sometimes, the cause of sexual dysfunction is rooted in our past experiences. Other times, we don’t even know why sex is uncomfortable or difficult to enjoy. A licensed therapist can be an incredibly valuable resource for answering the questions you may have about your own body, sexuality, and pleasure.  

Our brains play a big role in how we experience sex. It's not just about the physical stuff—our brain chemicals and neural pathways work together to create pleasure and connection. 

Recognizing the brain as a crucial part of our sex life helps us understand intimacy better and leads to a more thoughtful and satisfying sexual journey. As you explore desire and connection, try to appreciate how your mind and body interact. Ultimately, our brains are the real architects of our most intimate moments.

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by Darci Johnson